National Collegiate Dodgeball Association

Ask any college player, and they’ll tell you that the great game of dodgeball can really take a physical toll on its participants over the course of a season.

Busted lips, twisted ankles, shoulder tendonitis — almost everyone can attest to the aches and pains this game can dish out from time to time.

In my personal opinion, one of the more underappreciated side effects of our favorite game is the damage done to the poor fingers on your throwing hand.

Thank God we only play this game while we’re in college or our hands would wind up looking like those of an offensive lineman in the NFL.

But as much as we moan and complain about finger pain brought on by the grippy, we’re perfectly happy to burn our fingers out enjoying another favorite pastime of college students: video games.

If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve probably blown off a test or paper to save the world on Halo 3 or duke it out with your buddies on the latest version of Madden.

Speaking of Madden, it’s still amazing to me that the NFL’s marquee simulation is popular enough not only to have its own TV show (Madden Nation), but also its own holiday (albeit one created by advertisers).

I’m convinced that Madden and the NFL have gone hand-in-hand in helping push one another to the top of their respective entertainment heaps.

Which brings me to the topic of this What If installment.

I know it’s the summer, but if you could all please flip your imagination from “Off” to “On,” I want to take you into a world where college dodgeball has finally hit the big-time.

A world where college dodgeball finally has its own video game.

If the above line would be the realization of a longtime dream that you’ve had, you’re not alone.

When I’m not considering the chilling ramifications of a world without the grippy throw, I’ve often devoted hours thinking about the possibility of a college dodgeball video game.

While I’ll spare you the full details, I want to draw your attention to some of the highlights of this exciting alternate reality.

First off, just imagine the impact of a full-fledged video game would have on our up and coming league.

I’m not talking about some kid in his basement putting together a Flash game with stick figures for him and his buddies to enjoy on the Internet.

I’m talking about the royal treatment from a premier video game company like EA Sports, complete with the same fanfare and promotion a new Madden release would see.

Consider for a minute how many millions of people have either seen, heard of or played Madden at some point during their life.

Let’s just say for argument’s sake that half of all Americans meet one of the criteria from the above sentence, meaning close to 150 million people would not look dumbfounded if you brought up Madden in a conversation.

Think about that. 150 million people. That’s mind-boggling. I’d be shocked if 150 people at our university knew that the dodgeball team existed.

Now picture those millions of people coming home from the store and popping NCDA Dodgeball 2010 into their videogame console, eager to see if Grand Valley is still the highest rated team in all the land.

We’d be bona fide celebrities.

Furthermore, the league’s revenue would be off the charts and the media coverage we received would be insane.

Any player besides me fancy tuning in to SportsCenter every morning to check up on their competition and watch a Top 10 that included a sick collection of headshots?

I think every college player across the nation just muttered, “Yes, please” in unison.

As for the game itself, my inner geek has definitely had fun imagining exactly how a college dodgeball simulation would work.

It would truly be a game different from anything we’ve ever played before.

Like I said, I could spend the next 1,000 words laying out the specifics of how I think the game should work, but I think a basic rundown will suffice.

Sticking with the golden standard for sports videogames, I could see controlling a college dodgeball player being very similar to controlling the quarterback on Madden.

Want to make a throw? Picture a pitching meter similar to those found on baseball video games — fill up a quarter of the bar to throw a lollipop or fill it all the way up to unleash a hellacious fastball.

Switching between your blockers, catchers and throwers would be a simple as switching between players on an NBA videogame.

Want to beat the other team to half court on the opening rush? Better tap the turbo button before the ref yells “Go” to get that extra burst of speed.

Use a simple flick of the controller stick to bring the ball up and block when you’re being targeted by the other team, just like how you’d raise your gloves to your face during a boxing match on Fight Night Round 4.

Switch over to the captain of your squad and pull up the in-game menu to call out plays for either offense or defense.

And if you time it up perfectly, hold down the trigger to enter slow motion and annihilate a competitor’s face with a devastating headshot, complete with the knockout physics seen in the aforementioned boxing game.

Are you drooling yet?

Seriously, tell me one other game that could seamlessly combine familiar elements from other sports games like NCDA Dodgeball 2010 would?

It wouldn’t just be the best of both worlds. It would be the best of several worlds.

We all cherish the chaotic and frantic atmosphere of a college dodgeball game.

Anyone who’s played the game knows there’s no other sport that requires you to simultaneously play offense and defense, watching for your headshot opportunities while trying your best to avoid ending up on someone’s highlight reel.

Find a company that can successfully translate that manic energy into the virtual world and you’ve got the single coolest video game of all time.

Before we leave, I want you to spare one final thought for a world in which you could come home after a tough loss to your rival school, turn on your console, and pummel that team unmercifully in virtual reality for their success in the real world.

When I was in middle school, there was a poster that hung in my homeroom class that read, “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.”

Corny, no doubt, but the message was clear:

Aim as high as you can when making your goals. That way, even if you come up a little bit short, you’ve still accomplished something noteworthy.

A couple months ago, I made a moon shot in one of my columns.

I titled it “Virtual Reality as an Actuality” and spent the next 1,100 words talking about the possibility of a college dodgeball video game.

I talked about everything, including the implications of such a game on our sport and how such a game might play on today’s consoles.

It was a total fantasy, but like the poster in that classroom, my message was clear:

I want a college dodgeball video game.

Well, we haven’t made it to the moon (yet), but I’m thrilled to announce that it appears the league has landed among the stars.

Back on Sept. 1, I received an email from Morgan Haro, a marketing associate from Hudson Entertainment.

I hadn’t heard of Hudson before, but upon further reading, I found out they’re a video game publisher whose latest release, Deca Sports 2, will be released for Nintendo Wii on Sept. 29.

What does Deca Sports 2 have to do with the NCDA?

Well, for the first time on a modern console, dodgeball will be featured on a video game.

No, you didn’t misread that last line.

Dodgeballers can finally shelve their copy of Super Dodge Ball on the NES because there’s a new virtual counterpart in town.

Deca Sports 2, a Wii Sports-esque compilation game, won’t feature the incarnation of dodgeball we’re using to playing in the NCDA, but that’s not the point.

Morgan wasn’t emailing us to sell his company’s new game.

And instead of telling you what he did say, I’ll just let Morgan speak by sharing the last two paragraphs of his email:

“The reason for my email is to spark discussion on a potential partnership between Hudson and NCDA. The Deca Sports series is known for bringing sports that may not have a strong awareness in North America. Last year, we partnered with the United States Curling Association, the Canadian Curling Association and the Association of Volleyball Professionals, and were able to provide Wiis and copies of the game to all of their events to provide a new form of entertainment at the respective events and at the same time, raise the interest level of the sport at hand with an audience that may not have been interested. Needless to say, everyone came away with a big smile on their face!

I’d like to discuss how cross-promoting and integrating our product can attract more attention and add more well-rounded entertainment at your events and raise the awareness of the NCDA. The idea is to have zero financial transactions here so don’t worry, I’m not after your pocketbooks to have some sort of sponsorship. Just a strong cross-promotion with the foundation being the sport at hand and how it’s featured in the game and in real life. I’m open to discussing ideas, but would welcome the opportunity to introduce DECA SPORTS 2 further.”

Did your jaw just hit the floor? I know mine did the first time I read this.

I talked to Morgan about a week later, and just in case you’re confused, here’s the basic game plan we’re looking at with this potential partnership:

1. Morgan and his guys want to come to our big events throughout the season with big screen TVs, Nintendo Wiis and copies of Deca Sports 2.

2. Once they arrive, they’ll get everything set up and have the game playable for anyone who want to come check it out during the event.

3. For this season, I suggested three events they should attend: the GVSU-SVSU game, the Battle of the Bluegrass between WKU and UK, and Nationals.

4. Here’s the best part: in exchange for allowing something that will likely increase the attendance and entertainment value of our events, the NCDA gets a link on Hudson’s website and a mention in their newsletter.

If everything goes according to plan, it’s my hope that we’ll notice an immediate increase in both visibility and credibility for college dodgeball.

But what about a long-term benefit for both parties?

In a perfect world, Hudson would want to make an exclusive dodgeball game after the rave reviews the dodgeball segment of Deca Sports 2 received.

However, instead of simply stretching their version of dodgeball into its own game, they’d want to create something substantial and unique.

Who better to help them the NCDA, the premiere dodgeball association on the planet?

A little collaboration, some motion capture sessions and voila: Hudson Entertainment presents College Dodgeball makes my dream a reality.

I think it’s safe to say we’ve landed on the moon.

Are you the captain of a young team and you want to make an impact during your inaugural year in the NCDA? Or maybe you’re just a new player who’s still trying to figure this whole college dodgeball thing out. Either way, Jazzy has you covered with “The College Dodgeballer’s Manifesto” — 16 things to know if you want to excel in college dodgeball. Have your own suggestions for the manifesto? Send them to ncdadodgeball@gmail.com. So, what are you waiting for? Your dodgeball training starts right here!

1. Be aggressive! This is probably the costliest mistake a young squad can make. Your team must not become too passive or cease to attack. Remember, if you get down, the clock is against you, so you need to attack!

2. No long throws. No player needs to make throws longer than 10-12 ft. Throws longer than that are just an easy catch for the other team.

3. Do not attack alone. If you’re alone, you leave yourself wide open after you throw. So make sure to attack in groups of 2-3. It’s also a smart idea to pair up your best arms with a blocker who can protect them full-time.

4. Aim low. High throws are easy catches. If you don’t use the “grippy” throw, aim between the ankles and the knees, especially when your opponent is backpedaling. If you do use the grippy, try to aim low, even though this can be difficult.

5. Catching is the best way to help the team. Good hands are more valuable than strong arms in this game. Pick out opponents during warm-ups and during the first point that have weak arms. When they throw, try to make a catch.

6. Don’t be afraid to jump. A lot of players try to dodge low throws by lifting one leg or side-stepping them, myself included. If a throw is made at your feet, there is a 100% chance you will avoid it if you jump over it!

7. Stay spread out. Instead of having everyone charge to throw and then retreat to the baseline, you need to spread the floor, attack and then be ready to strike after the counterattack. Teams like GVSU do this very well and that’s one of the reasons they win. Having everyone at the baseline is like lining up for a firing squad- someone is sure to get hit.

8. Know where you are on the floor. No stepping out of bounds or over the neutral zone line, period. Remember: as long as you have one foot in on the sidelines and baseline, you’re fine. But you can’t step over the neutral zone line, so keep your distance. Also, catches must be made with one foot inside the line.

9. Protect your teammates. If you see a teammate that has thrown and is about to be thrown at, move forward and use your ball to block the throw. If you don’t participate in an attack, rush forward to cover your throwers as they retreat back to the baseline.

10. Look for your cross–court opportunities. This is the bread and butter of any good team and where your sneaky players will make their living. If you have a ball, hang back, lay low and wait for your chance. When you see an opponent charge and make a throw from across the court, don’t hesitate! Attack!

11. Stay moving. A moving target is much harder to hit.

12. Throw at the same time at the same person. If you attack in a group, target the same player. One ball is easy to avoid. Several balls are not.

13. Do not throw at opponents holding balls. This one is just common sense. If you are going to make a throw, it had better be at a defenseless opponent. Conserve your arm strength by picking your spots and not making foolish throws that have no chance of getting someone out.

14. Communicate with your teammates. Yell out things you see to alert your teammates. “Guy moving up,” “Gotta ball here,” “Everyone throw at this guy.” More communication will invariably lead to more success as a team.

15. Everyone needs to play their position. Whatever your designation, the best way to help the team is by playing your role. Even though some positions aren’t as glamorous as others, your team will need all positions working together if they’re going to win. To illustrate: a thrower gets 5 opponents out during a game but a blocker keeps 10 of his players from getting out. Which is more valuable?

16. Everyone rush. Unless you’re designated to hang behind, you need to participate in the opening rush. The team that has the balls controls the game. Therefore, your team needs to get as many of the balls as they can.