Wondering just who Jazzy’s put at the helm of the NCDA’s beloved Average Joes Podcast? Let’s find out. What follows are six questions designed to introduce our new hosts in a way that only college dodgeball could pull off. What also follows? Utter hilarity.
1. What aspect of college dodgeball was most surprising to you when you first got involved with the game?
Alex: How serious the game was. I was expecting a whole lot of goofing off and no real organization. I was impressed by the degree of planning and organization involved.
Zac: Definitely the intensity. I never thought the level of competitiveness would be as high as it is.
2. What are you hoping to bring to Average Joes’ Podcast that will help make the show the greatest podcast in history?
Alex: I hope to keep the show informative and entertaining. I think humor is the best way to broadcast news so that’s what I’ll shoot for.
Zac: Besides my awesome good looks and sexual voice, nothing. I kid. I would have to say my insight into a game that has long befuddled critics, skeptics, and scholars alike. College Dodgeball is a peculiar game, and I am a peculiar man.
3. Which would you rather see during a dodgeball game: a sick headshot or a sick shot to the groin? If you were playing, which would you rather have happen to you?
Alex: Hmm… Groin shots are classic but a head shot can leave a more visible mark. I would have to say groin shot only because of the possibility that crying or vomiting could occur.
Zac: Groin. Way funnier. Every guy hates to admit that a shot to the business is hilarious, but no man wants to take one… so I would take a doming before a groin shot.
4. When the podcast finally hits the big time and we’re raking in the millions, what’s your plan of action for all that dough? Are you splurging on a mansion and nice cars? Buying your own sports franchise? How do you spend the money?
Alex: Two words… Playboy Mansion.
Zac: Probably savvy investing, and a decent ride. Nice penthouse in Nashville too, I would think.
5. What’s your most embarrassing moment?
Alex: Walking into a girls bathroom in a movie theatre. Made it all the way to the stalls before I realized I was surrounded by chicks. So I just made a confused face and said “Nope she’s not in here” and left very quickly.
6. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Alex: Two words… Hugh Hefner.
7. Let’s pretend you’re a big time sports announcer now. What sport would you be covering and what would be your signature catchphrase? Explain your choices.
Zac: I would love to be covering professional eating. I wouldn’t need a specific catchphrase, because let’s face it, the double entrendres you can create at a wiener eating contest are endless.
8. You’re a big roller coaster fan. Describe the ultimate fantasy coaster that you would build with all your money from the podcast. Give us a name, location, specific details and it’s reputation among coaster enthusiasts.
Zac: Diamondback, but taller, faster, and with more air. And much more adjacent to my couch. The name would have to be something bitchin’ that they couldn’t call a theme park ride because its too violent or awesome… you know, like, THE MURDERATOR, or SKELETALDEATH. Basically, just find some arbitrary heavy metal band and name it after them.